Murray Meditations: What Do You Want?

Once upon a time, a blind man sat begging. Not an unusual scene. One often sees people of all varieties begging on the street.  However, in this particular story there is a powerful twist. Bartimaeus, was a very fortunate beggar. "What?" you say. "Whoever heard of a fortunate beggar? They are all destitute and far from fortunate."  Not so! This man's pleas fell upon the ears of Jesus, the Son of God. What luck! Finally, someone with some real power. He seemed to realize his good fortune, because he called out loudly and repeatedly, even though the crowd around him tried to shut him up. His cry? "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me! Son of David, have mercy on me!" (Mark 10:46-48)  What was Jesus' response? "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him. The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see." (Mark :51-52)

I am confused by Jesus' question. Did He not know what this beggar needed of Him? Yes, I am sure that He did. And yet, Jesus insists that Bartimaeus tell him exactly what he wants. Not because He needed to be told, but because Bartimaeus needed to hear himself say it.

I am blind Bartimaeus in the street, calling out to the God of the universe for mercy. And His reply to me --"what do you want?" Do I know the answer to this question? If I don't know, then I must search my heart until I find the answer. 

When we speak out loud the things that we long for, we begin to know our hearts in a way that vague pleas for mercy or blessing do not reveal. And in the knowing, we find our true focus in life. 

What are the longings that drive you? Jesus asks  us to give voice to those longings in specific, focused detail. Do you know what you want from Jesus? Andrew Murray teaches us that in the journey towards effective praying, we must know what we want and pray in faith, believing there will be an answer. In our school of prayer, we learn to verbalize "distinct expressions of definite need" (Murray). It is possible that staying vague seems safer. I can pray for blessings and mercy, and often see the answers all around. Yes, there are many joys in each day that I can claim as the answer. How much riskier does it seem to give God a specific need, and wait for Him to fill that need. Or...wait for Him to say "no". Step out in faith and take the risk! God is waiting to pour out His supernatural abundance if we are willing to ask.

Oh, Spirit of the Living God, show me the way to pray, with truth and wisdom. In my own sphere of living, may I lift up my family, friend, co-workers and neighbors in prayer, not for selfish wants and ease of living, but for heaven's sake and Your glory.



But if, as in silence of the soul we bow before the Lord, we were ready to answer questions such as these:

• What is now really my desire? 
• Do I desire it in faith, expecting to receive? 
• Am I now ready to place and leave it there in the Father's bosom? 
• Is it settled between God and me that I am to have the answer?

--we should learn to pray in such a way that God will see and we would know what we really expect. A. Murray

Mark 11: 24

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.